My favourite time of year

I love this time of year. Everyone (except those who drive) are happier when not on the roads, the world looks beautiful, and it's my birthday month.

While it's true expenses raise a considerable amount in December, it's still fun. Family comes close, friends closer.

Last year at this time I was stressed out and worried about what 2007 would bring me. I should have been. I was absolutely ridiculous about my money (letting it leave my account as if there were no consequences), not making a lot in my current job, and basically not thinking any positive thoughts about the impending year. There were a lot of depressed months where I refused to go out with friends, wouldn't take phone calls, and wasn't exactly easy to deal with at work.

This year though, things have changed. I've got a decent car that I can rely on, a touch of a savings account, I've quit smoking, created a budget I can stick to, made a huge change at work, and started Weight Watchers (without attending the meetings or playing around online). I am experiencing very positive thoughts regarding this year, and I can't wait until it really gets going.

I started the new stop smoking drug 10 days ago. After the 8th day you should stop smoking and continue taking the pills. There's 2 reasons this drug has already been successful for me:

1. They gave me a 2 week starter pack and kept my prescription on file (unlike Zyban) which means I can run to SuperStore and grab the next couple of week's worth without waiting for hours at the doctor's office (BIG BIG BONUS).

2. Instead of just hoping it will work by making you happier than normal (like Zyban) this drug actually helps you quit! It stimulates the nicotine receptors in your brain and then immediately blocks them, taking away whatever pleasure you derived from a cigarette, this making smoking eventually become pointless.

The only thing with this drug is it says on the package that it's possible to experience all the same issues when quitting cold turkey: headaches, irritability, loss of patience, troubles sleeping. My dreams went insane with vividness once I started the drug, which doesn't bother me at all. It's actually fun recounting the previous night's dream to friends the following day. Quite the insight into the human psyche. The loss of patience thing actually really isn't that bad. I really though I was very heavily addicted when I decided to stop, and thought that this would be a massive, very angry journey. But after the first day was done, I was shocked at how easy it was to not smoke.

I wasn't all that angry or irritated, or even anxious, like I felt I should be doing something, but wasn't allowed, and therefore had to sit and be agitated until the craving passed. Day 2 went well, though I had a very irrational 20 minutes. And I wasn't even that involved in freaking out, I was able to take a step back and realize I was acting silly. So rather than continue on, I took a few deep breaths and waited a couple of minutes until the feeling passed, and I was able to relax again. As well, day 2 involved hanging out with people in a public place and drinking coffee, which normally makes me want to smoke. After having coffee, we went out to dinner (also a dangerous action) and I didn't snap at anyone, I was pleasant to be around, I had a good time and didn't even think about it!

Today is day 3 and I'm not honestly sure I can even say how I'm doing. I'm thinking about smoking, but only because I'm typing this. I was thinking of trying to play some World of Warcraft while I relax this morning, but it's very cold in here, so maybe some TV is in order. Day 3 is notoriously the worst when it comes to cravings and such, but so far I'm alright. I'm not hoping for something to make me angry so I can take my frustrations out on it, and I'm actually somewhat relaxed. Though I haven't gone back to work yet (I got 15 days off from work, due back on the 7th) I am feeling conservatively optimistic that I'll be able to handle it when I get back.

I am actually sort of looking forward to going back. Normally I hate days off/vacation, as I tend to get incredibly bored, and end up longing to return to work. For the first couple of days of this vacation I was feeling that as well, but the 23rd/24th/25th hit and it was total insanity for those days. Then it was all over, and I quit smoking. It's only Tuesday, but I've taken all my Christmas decorations down, and have started the major clean up of my apartment. Almost everything is back to normal now, so I can start my year fresh and ready to handle all obstacles headed my way.